Wow, 2020! Here we are. As you approach we want to greet you with welcome arms. The past few years have been leading us to you, 2020. We are open, and willing to try our absolute best to embrace you. Whatever you may hold we know it is for our best purpose and highest power.
2020 is our year to engage our own selves and our abilities to take it to the next level. We are full of truth and wisdom and know the difference between what we are able to achieve and what no longer serves our purpose.
When you call on us to change, or to adjust we will do so with strength and good will. We will not fail you or not show up to meet you. Our future and our goals all depend on our willingness to flow and move in sync with you.
Holding onto anything that has not served us in the past is leaving with 2019. We have a new outlook and expression towards life. The energy that we possess now is full, strong, and able.
We look to 2020 as a spring board into our destiny. We are shifting ways and making room for the future. Let’s shine this 2020 and bring ourselves and destinies to the next realm waiting for us!
Today I went on my first long distance run in a long time. I was sweaty, hot and encouraged. The cool air and the beautiful river beside me felt fresh. When I was ready to give up, I took a rest and then had the energy to keep pushing. I love how a couple minutes of rest can reset your entire outlook.
Instead of whining and saying no, just take a break. That is the ONLY thing you need to do when you start working out. Just take a break. The rest will give you time to regain a balance on your emotions and the burn in your limbs. Even if your break is a day, or a few hours or a few days, the best part about starting a more healthy and fit lifestyle is that it is on your terms!
There is no right way to begin being healthy. Any walk, lap or sit up will be one more than you had done previously. The only difference between pushing yourself to your absolute limits and just adding exercises here and there is the time in which you will see external results. Those external results come from extreme self-discipline either very quickly and strong-willed or more of a slow pace that builds over the years.
So, while I was running today, I decided I didn’t HAVE to. I could stop at any time and that alone gave me back my control. No, I do not have to work out. I do not have to run this last block, this last couple of feet. But I am in control of that and I get to decide where I want to push my body. The pain is of my choosing and that 1 or 2 minutes of rest in between some very difficult internal battles, is all I needed to recognize that I am in control here. Nothing else but me.
Pain is a very interesting thing, because even when the pain is good, it still hurts on some level. That hurt is scary but it is not impossible. The best part is you get to decide when to experience that pain, when you don’t want to and also you get to decide what that pain means to you. Does it mean, you have control? Does it mean you are in charge of this body and this beauty with in? Yes.
Since I have obtained sobriety and am free from all of my party ways, I have found myself looking to fill my time. I want to work on this stronger, healthier, and more authentic version of myself. The first step on that journey was getting sober and staying that way! This took a lot more work than I ever expected.
Now that I am on the other side of sobriety and can assure myself that I have zero desire to fall back into old habits, I want to work on creating some new ones. In comes a favorite of mine, fitness.
Since I was young I have enjoyed activities based on physical agility and drive. Sports, track and field, soccer, really anything that involves some physical movement has always made me smile (as it does most people, actually).
That is why after many years of being back and forth with any athletic pursuits, I have decided to dive in to full body work outs. HIIT sessions are a great way to raise the heart rate, burn deeply while at the same time, constantly changing your sets to keep working out; fun and fast paced. Which are the two keys, (fun and fast paced) that made me fall in love with athletics at a young age.
So, with 2020 right around the corner I felt it was the perfect time to commit myself to the fit and healthy me I know I am inside! Although it is 2020 soon, the New Year itself did not spark this motivation.
Even while I was actively using, drinking, and partying.. every month or so I would go through this huge over drive and purge my self of all of my bad habits for a day, a week, or sometimes longer. Very sporadically I would decide I needed an over haul. So I would do that, change my entire life in one day. That would last for a little then I would go right back to my familiar routines and of course drinking and only worsening my health and state of mind.
One thing is certain though, even when I was at the lowest of some of my lows, my physical activity and health were always on my mind. I guess we can see what kind of damage we are doing, even if we don’t have the basic tools to help change that damage, at the time.
This is the first time the thought of getting fit and healthy isn’t overtaking my every thought or putting some huge amount of pressure on me. Instead it is bringing my excitement and a feeling of self-control which is much needed in my life.
The ability to control something. The ability to create something new. To re-create me!
On December 20, 2019 I am joining the gym! This is going to be a huge step on my recovery journey. I have joined gyms before with anxiety always jumping in the way of my goals. I always felt afraid to be on my own in a gym, overwhelmed and now that I am aware of why, and how I feel those things, they have become a lot simpler to navigate.
The gym is going to be a great place to feel my sobriety and also work on my body, mind, and spirit! Since, exercise also benefits your mood, and attitude you could say it deeply improves your mind’s function and your overall spiritual well-being.
I will be combining HIIT sessions, the gym, and biking into a set routine to bring me into 2020, and the future. Also, I will continue backpacking/hiking too!
This is the most calm, and excited I have been to take on a new project in a very long, long, long time. Words can’t even explain where I am at in my head this past year. It has been full of good and bad days, but something in me clicked. I am finally able to see where I’m able to go, not just where I came from! The future is bright friends! xo.