We have to go get some food and then we will go to the movies.
These two sentences are the same in many ways but the only thing that is wrong is the fact that the first makes living a choice and the second makes living a pursuit.
Living shouldn’t be an option. We are not just here to think of maybe or possibly or sometime or someday. That perpetual “maybe later” or “next week” or “next month” is the slow stall of momentum. Making life a choice is a very easy way to become unmotivated.
Only when we make living a MUST is when we begin to actually live. Don’t wait until things are “perfect” or “feel right” because 9 times out of 10 they never will. There will always be something off or a feeling that doesn’t make living feel as important as you would like or dream it to be.
When life is made into an option, momentum actually gets worse. Suddenly everything feels imperfect, as if the right time will never come. Tomorrow will always seem like it has more potential. Next month will always be “better.” The simple truth is it won’t. Next month will not be a better time to start living, it really won’t. Habits become just that. If living is optional today it will continue to be optional next month, next year and the next 10 years.
Make life a MUST, and then life will continue to be a must next month, next year and the next ten years.
Stop waiting for perfection, that simply does not exist in limbo. True perfection will be found when you stop waiting for it and start actively pursuing your dreams. Life is happening right now, and is the most precious thing you could waste waiting for tomorrow.
The birds still fly, the bees still buzz and the breeze still blows. A million things could be happening but these things still remain true across the board. A bird does not stop flying because it’s nest was destroyed. The bee does not stop buzzing and pollinating because it hasn’t found a flower in twenty minutes and the breeze continues to blow whether the the sun is shining and or the clouds are heavy. A good reminder that just like our troubles in life can take ahold of our present, we can also be like the birds, bees, and breeze; continuing on our regular scheduled path even in times of turmoil.
The key would be to continue doing the things you know you MUST do in order to remain normal, safe and content. The simple stability we can achieve through routine tasks is what keeps us from being in a place that we have zero control over. The places we fall victim to when we lose our ability to fly, buzz and blow a gentle breeze.
When we forget these simple, everyday tasks we are able to control, and then lose control of things we were never in complete control of anyways, suddenly the entire world seems to feel out of reach. Being able to draw the line in the sand between what we can and cannot do is important and remember to always put effort into those things we can do.
The truth is, the more we can do and do well, the more strength and courage we have to take on those things we “can’t” do.
Let’s say you have ALWAYS been an amazing organizer, you are able to systematically do any task in a neat and simple way. Suddenly, you have nothing more to organize.. everything around you is neat and things suddenly seem out of control for you. Well, take that thing you can do (organize) and find a way to organize what you cannot do.
What can’t you do? What is something that is making you unhappy, that you simply cannot do anything to change or control it? Organize it! Find a way to systematically change the task into something you can do. Because you know you CAN organize, so truthfully speaking you CAN organize what you can’t do. Get it?
Suddenly, those things you can’t do, get easier because by applying what you know to a new and more difficult situation, you have taken the first steps in learning how to add those cannot’s to your can’t list.
Say you have always been a great communicator, and something has come up where you have to do something with NO help, no one to discuss your issues or concerns or ideas with, suddenly communicating is out of the question! So you panic, who to turn to? Well, here is a great idea: communicate your own ideas on paper, or in your mind? Think of what someone you know or have known in the past would say or take your own advice for once!
Another example for you, you have always been a fitness guru, someone who enjoys working out. Fitness is your practice and what you CAN do. Something has come up that you CAN’T do.. it is so out of your realm and reach that you are feeling out of control. Apply the same exact system you do to work out, your discipline and how you motivate yourself to attack your new problem.
Depression has a funny way of slipping through the cracks of what we know and taking control of the things we have already mastered. When we lose our ability to always be on top of things we should never lose our simpler truths that keep us in check every other day.
Losing grasp on who we are intrinsically, is the real way we lose the grasp on who we could be potentially. Also, our truest abilities are our ticket to overcoming depression all together. Every single human on the face of this earth is born with a light inside, something that keeps them going and it is what they do with that light that determines who and what they will be and be able to do.
When we are out of control we sometimes assume we have no way to gain a foothold because we are not used to the lack of knowledge of the subject. So, instead of giving up or losing our mind, let’s do what we CAN instead of what we can’t.
Since I have obtained sobriety and am free from all of my party ways, I have found myself looking to fill my time. I want to work on this stronger, healthier, and more authentic version of myself. The first step on that journey was getting sober and staying that way! This took a lot more work than I ever expected.
Now that I am on the other side of sobriety and can assure myself that I have zero desire to fall back into old habits, I want to work on creating some new ones. In comes a favorite of mine, fitness.
Since I was young I have enjoyed activities based on physical agility and drive. Sports, track and field, soccer, really anything that involves some physical movement has always made me smile (as it does most people, actually).
That is why after many years of being back and forth with any athletic pursuits, I have decided to dive in to full body work outs. HIIT sessions are a great way to raise the heart rate, burn deeply while at the same time, constantly changing your sets to keep working out; fun and fast paced. Which are the two keys, (fun and fast paced) that made me fall in love with athletics at a young age.
So, with 2020 right around the corner I felt it was the perfect time to commit myself to the fit and healthy me I know I am inside! Although it is 2020 soon, the New Year itself did not spark this motivation.
Even while I was actively using, drinking, and partying.. every month or so I would go through this huge over drive and purge my self of all of my bad habits for a day, a week, or sometimes longer. Very sporadically I would decide I needed an over haul. So I would do that, change my entire life in one day. That would last for a little then I would go right back to my familiar routines and of course drinking and only worsening my health and state of mind.
One thing is certain though, even when I was at the lowest of some of my lows, my physical activity and health were always on my mind. I guess we can see what kind of damage we are doing, even if we don’t have the basic tools to help change that damage, at the time.
This is the first time the thought of getting fit and healthy isn’t overtaking my every thought or putting some huge amount of pressure on me. Instead it is bringing my excitement and a feeling of self-control which is much needed in my life.
The ability to control something. The ability to create something new. To re-create me!
On December 20, 2019 I am joining the gym! This is going to be a huge step on my recovery journey. I have joined gyms before with anxiety always jumping in the way of my goals. I always felt afraid to be on my own in a gym, overwhelmed and now that I am aware of why, and how I feel those things, they have become a lot simpler to navigate.
The gym is going to be a great place to feel my sobriety and also work on my body, mind, and spirit! Since, exercise also benefits your mood, and attitude you could say it deeply improves your mind’s function and your overall spiritual well-being.
I will be combining HIIT sessions, the gym, and biking into a set routine to bring me into 2020, and the future. Also, I will continue backpacking/hiking too!
This is the most calm, and excited I have been to take on a new project in a very long, long, long time. Words can’t even explain where I am at in my head this past year. It has been full of good and bad days, but something in me clicked. I am finally able to see where I’m able to go, not just where I came from! The future is bright friends! xo.